Leading used to be a big thing for me. I aimed for and did hold quite a number of leadership positions. The way forward was upward.

That is no longer the case. I’ve lost most appetite for leadership positions. That’s not just for me. I find leading to be too mentally and emotionally taxing, and it’s just not where I’m at my best.

I still hold a leadership position, but I’m also seriously considering to resign and focus solely on areas where I’m actually gifted, shunning all formal leadership positions. In the meantime though, there are still people and projects I need to manage. How should I handle this responsibility?

Resources such as the Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or, a more recent work, Chris Voss’ Never Split the Difference would be my go-to resources, but things are different now, and these end up ringing hollow for me.

I’m going slowly through The Sermon on the Mount accompanied by Scot McKnight’s commentary. This is what I need! Reading through the Beatitudes, I realize how much I need to grow into the likeness of this blessed ideal Jesus taught. These sayings apply not only to certain aspects of my life, but to the whole of it! My leadership role is one area where I need to apply the Beatitudes’ ideals.

One life. One standard. Be it as a friend, a foreigner, a student, a son, a minister, a leader — in my whole life I’m to use the Beatitude as a mirror, an ideal, a template to grow into. The way forward is whichever direction the Lord walks me to.


The focus of my life isn’t a what, but a Who: it’s Jesus.

I was once questioned by a seasoned business person who deemed my life severely lack focus. “I have my reasons,” I said. “You only see the surface what, and I understand that you care about me, hence your concern; but underneath that what, I understand my why very well. I’m in good hands.”

Time and again, my life has taken sharp turns. It’s far from trekking the path commonly trodden. It’s been an exhilarating adventure. Will it still be so? I honestly don’t know, because it’s not my call. You see, I’m just trying my best to keep my eyes on Jesus and follow His lead. From the outset, some people find it hard to comprehend; for me, it makes making decisions much simpler.

Do I still have a goal, then? I do, and I think The Imitation of Christ sums it very well, “To be unknown and considered as nothing” because, as Paul argues in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”