Still …

“Who will roll away the stone for us
from the entrance of the tomb?”

Still they prepared the spices.
Still they beat the sun, waking up in the dark of the night.
Still they walked to the tomb.

Doing what they could.
To the very end of their wit.
And it’s there …

He met them.

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Loving God in the Waiting

how to love god
in the waiting?

to love is to be positively engaged
but, to wait …?

waiting
is a void in between
is a gap to be filled
or ignored
or wasted away
but definitely
not treasured

or is it?

what do people do in the waiting?
looking around
reading
playing games
mindlessly scrolling through their timeline
all just for killing the time

the value of the activity
is in salvaging the time
otherwise wasted
in the waiting

then how to love
in the waiting?

does it make a difference
between loving in the waiting
and waiting while loving?

reframe

to love in the waiting
is not just about salvaging the time
it’s about turning this wasteland
into a springboard

a springboard of exploration
a playground for us, lovers
a time in between where no deadline reigns
a space in the darkness where no predefined path imposes its way on us

to play
to abide
to enjoy

without constraints
without expectations
without burden to perform

just to be
together
with god

When Morning Comes

When morning comes
The worry of the night is washed away

Fear
          Angst
                      Gloom

All but
              vapored
In the warmth of the
                                      sunshine

Albeit it’s minus six now
It
    is a reminder
That God
                  reigns

2017.02.14

Leading

Leading used to be a big thing for me. I aimed for and did hold quite a number of leadership positions. The way forward was upward.

That is no longer the case. I’ve lost most appetite for leadership positions. That’s not just for me. I find leading to be too mentally and emotionally taxing, and it’s just not where I’m at my best.

I still hold a leadership position, but I’m also seriously considering to resign and focus solely on areas where I’m actually gifted, shunning all formal leadership positions. In the meantime though, there are still people and projects I need to manage. How should I handle this responsibility?

Resources such as the Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or, a more recent work, Chris Voss’ Never Split the Difference would be my go-to resources, but things are different now, and these end up ringing hollow for me.

I’m going slowly through The Sermon on the Mount accompanied by Scot McKnight’s commentary. This is what I need! Reading through the Beatitudes, I realize how much I need to grow into the likeness of this blessed ideal Jesus taught. These sayings apply not only to certain aspects of my life, but to the whole of it! My leadership role is one area where I need to apply the Beatitudes’ ideals.

One life. One standard. Be it as a friend, a foreigner, a student, a son, a minister, a leader — in my whole life I’m to use the Beatitude as a mirror, an ideal, a template to grow into. The way forward is whichever direction the Lord walks me to.

Focus

The focus of my life isn’t a what, but a Who: it’s Jesus.

I was once questioned by a seasoned business person who deemed my life severely lack focus. “I have my reasons,” I said. “You only see the surface what, and I understand that you care about me, hence your concern; but underneath that what, I understand my why very well. I’m in good hands.”

Time and again, my life has taken sharp turns. It’s far from trekking the path commonly trodden. It’s been an exhilarating adventure. Will it still be so? I honestly don’t know, because it’s not my call. You see, I’m just trying my best to keep my eyes on Jesus and follow His lead. From the outset, some people find it hard to comprehend; for me, it makes making decisions much simpler.

Do I still have a goal, then? I do, and I think The Imitation of Christ sums it very well, “To be unknown and considered as nothing” because, as Paul argues in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”